The relationship between horses and humans can be a beautiful thing. It can also be a disaster. Whether that relationship is harmonious or broken is up to the human.
Since horses were first domesticated, they typically got the short end of the stick when it came to their treatment. They were not treated kindly or fairly. The welfare of the horse was not considered. It was simply about control. Not only is that evidenced in historical tack set-ups, but even the more modern term of "breaking" horses is indicative of how they were, and still are, treated.
Some examples of historical bits. This gear was meant to exert maximum control over the horse, and certainly did not have the horse's welfare in mind. They more closely resemble medieval torture devices than something that should be put anywhere near a horse. I doubt many people back then gave any thought to having a kind relationship with their horse.
I always hated the term "break" as it relates to horses. However, I do think it accurately reflected what was (and still is) being done to them. People were breaking their spirits to make them compliant. They wanted it done quickly, and did not care what the horse thought or felt. Sometimes the treatment was outright violent. I have seen horses with broken spirits. Horses that have been broken down in such a manner have no spark of life in them. It is evident by the look in their eyes that they are dead inside. It is sickening and heartbreaking.
While I think many people are coming away from the old-fashioned methods of "breaking" horses, there is still considerable unfair and unkind treatment even by the most modern trainers. Then we have those who have moved to the other end, and are training with "positive reinforcement" (R+) only methods.
I do not use strictly positive reinforcement methods with horses, nor do I use strictly negative reinforcement methods. I am a believer in using appropriate levels of correction (and ALWAYS starting with the least amount possible), and heavy praise for desirable behaviors.
As I observe more of the "horsemanship" exhibited by various equestrians, I realize how blessed I was to be taught by my mother at my own home. She taught me to be kind, fair, patient, and always put the horse first. These are traits I rarely see now. Equestrians talk a good game, but what I hear people say and what I see them do, often do not align. People are pushing horses too young, too hard, and too fast because they want to get to the "fun part" right away. These horses are often met with anger, frustration and aggravation from their riders when they have issues later on. Issues that, in many cases, could have been avoided had they been thinking more of the horse, less of themselves, and taken the time to set a good foundation.
Patience is the number one trait a good horse person must have. Funnily enough, I am actually a rather impatient person, but not when it comes to horses. I have far more patience for horses than anything else in my life because I know that spending that time, and having that patience, will pay off greatly in the end. That, and I don't want a horse to view me as a human with no self-control, and who overreacts at every little thing. That is not the kind of human worthy of a horse's respect, nor does that make one a trustworthy leader. Of course, I'm no saint. If I am dealing with an issue that is stumping me, I can get frustrated. But, in that case, I do something the horse and I know well, end the session on that good note, and then I reassess the situation. I never work with a horse if I am angry or frustrated because that is unfair to the horse, and nothing good can come of that.
Patience then goes hand-in-hand with kindness and fairness. If a horse is exhibiting a behavior I don't want, I'm not going to get angry about it. I'm going to figure out why, and solve it. I want to solve issues using as little pressure and force as possible. "Do less first" is a phrase I picked up from an online trainer, and I have adopted that as my moto. It's also something my mom had impressed upon me and her students.
People are too quick to overcorrect a horse, and all that does is damage the horse/human relationship. I do not want a horse to listen to me because I am using pain to control it, I want the horse to listen to me because I have learned how to communicate to the horse in an appropriate way, and have been fair in how much of a correction I give. Doing less first, and not using pain as a control method, will undoubtedly foster a more harmonious relationship between horse and human.
Although I do not believe in anthropomorphizing horses, I do think people should take into account how it would feel if they were in a relationship with someone who used pain as a method to control them, and who was quick to anger for small mistakes. What kind of relationship would that create? It would be one where you are in fear of the other person, right? Is that not what people would consider an abusive relationship? It's the same with horses. I do not want to be the abuser in a relationship with a horse.
Am I the leader? Yes. So, what does that look like in the horse/human relationship? For me, it means that I always endeavor to understand how horses communicate, feel and react. It means not punishing them for being what they are and behaving naturally. It means being fair and kind and keeping their best interest at heart, while still getting my point across.
I'm certainly not perfect. I make mistakes, and I'll continue to make mistakes. That being said, I learn from those mistakes and make sure that I do better next time. I have evolved quite a lot through my horsemanship journey, and I will continue to do so.
I will always seek out better (which to me equates to kinder) ways to communicate with horses because I want to be a human that a horse can rely on and can enjoy the company of, rather than dreading it. This is one of the reasons why I am opposed to a lot of what I see people doing and what I see them using. If I am working with a horse that I have full control of what I do and don't use, then I will always opt for the bare minimum gear. I don't like spurs, anything designed to force a horse's head into a specific position, or otherwise restrict its movement, chains, harsh bits, or the like. I don't think any of those things improve the horse/human relationship.
My relationship with my heart horse
I was fortunate to grow up around many horses. I had good relationships with all of them, and wonderful relationships with a few of them.
Sometimes I look back and think I could have done better by Georgie (my heart horse) by just riding her in a bitless sidepull, but I didn’t know better back then. She was ridden with minimal gear though (just a saddle and a plain bridle. When we did long distance riding, she did wear a breast collar and crupper). We had a great relationship, and we were a perfect match. She enjoyed what we did, and she was always perky and eager to go on another adventure. She also loved attention and was happy to be loved on.
Georgie was a boss mare, and she had a strong personality. If the rider was reasonable, she was perfectly compliant. However, if a rider tried to micromanage her, hold her head tightly, or nag her with their legs, she would not allow that. We witnessed that happen with someone who thought they could be her dictator. Georgie fought back, and had that person tried to go further down that path with her, Georgie would have hurt that rider. I could have easily seen Georgie becoming an aggressive horse if she had been with someone who was harsh and overbearing. A good horse can easily turn "bad" when a human creates such a toxic relationship.
I'm sure there are people out there who would think that trait in her was undesirable, but I don't. What is undesirable is being overly controlling of a horse. As I said before, if the rider was reasonable, let her have her head, and kept their leg loose, she would do anything and everything that was asked of her. Anyone attempting to micromanage her was a fool, and did not want a harmonious relationship, but a master/servant relationship.
Take a look at how you handle your horse. Examine your horse, yourself and your relationship closely. What kind of relationship do you have? What kind of relationship do you want? I hope you decide today that your horse's welfare and a harmonious relationship is more important than you getting to the "fun part” quickly.
Cover photo: Me and my first horse Cherie. She was the first horse I ever bonded with. You can read more about Cherie in my post "The Horses I Have Loved".
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